Final Big Ten Standings

T1. Penn State
T1. Ohio State
T3. Wisconsin
T3. Iowa
T3. Michigan
T3. Northwestern
7. Minnesota
8. Purdue
9. Michigan State
10. Indiana
11. Illinois

----

Here is what we said before the season

Kyle said:

1. Ohio State
2. Iowa
3. Michigan
4. Purdue
5. Penn State
6. Wisconsin
7. Minnesota
8. Michigan State
9. Northwestern
10. Indiana
11. Illinois

Brett said:

1. Ohio State
2. Iowa
3. Michigan
4. Purdue
5. Wisconsin
6. Michigan State
7. Penn State
8. Minnesota
9. Illinois
10. Northwestern
11. Indiana

Corey said:

1. THE Ohio State University
2. Meeeechigan
3. Purdue
4. Iowa
5. Minnesota
6. Wisconsin
7. Michigan State
8. Penn State
9. Northwestern
10. Indiana
11. Illinois

----

As you can see, I, Kyle, was the most accurate. Doesn't surprise me one bit.

Standings

Brett 49-19
Corey 49-19
Kyle 48-20

(22) Wisconsin @ Hawaii

Everyone says:

Wisconsin

Standings

Brett 48-19
Corey 48-19
Kyle 47-20

(5)Penn State at Michigan State

Kyle says:

This has all the makings of a fairy tale finish to Penn State's regular season. If they win, they win their first Big Ten title since 1994 (second overall) and they clinch a BCS bowl. GameDay will be on on hand on the banks of the Red Cedar. I think the Penn State story has gotten to be like Notre Dame at the beginning of the year. Yes, they are a good team, but it is just getting old now. Luckily, the Nittany Pussies dreams are going to be dashed by Sparty and the rest of Michigan State Saturday night. You never know which MSU team is going to show up, but if they show up to play on Saturday, they will beat Penn State. They did the same thing to the Badgers last season, and I see the same forecast for this year.

Our Specialty Is Choking And The Spartans Choke Real Well - 28
We Are...Not Going To A BCS Bowl - 23

Brett says:

Gameday will be live from East Lansing in this one, for reasons I still don't get. Seriously, get the fuck off Joe Pa's nuts, there's no way they can withstand it all. All the guy does anymore is bitch to officials and jump around like a jackass at pep rallies. When was the last time this guy called a play? Probably before the forward pass was invented I imagine. Anyways, Penn State is playing for all the marbles here as they go for the title and a BCS berth. Shaky Michigan State is looking to salvage it's season with a bowl berth and the satisfaction of beating both Notre Dame and Penn State. This is a tough one to pick, part of me says MSU comes out and gets the job done and the other part of me says this PSU team is destined to win the title. I think Penn State's defense is too much for the Spartys to come as John L. Smith disappoints in East Lansing again.

Joe Pa will be partying, he might even stay up until 9 pm - 24
John L. Smith sucks - 20

Corey says:

Penn State

(9)Ohio State at (17)Michigan

Kyle says:

Ohio State - Michigan. The greatest rivalry in sports. It doesn't get any better than this, folks. This match up will take center stage, as it always does. Both teams are playing their best right now, so I feel we are in store for one helluva college football game. It is never easy to go into Ann Arbor and come out with a win. Ohio State knows that better than anyone else. It will be interesting to see if Michigan will kick to Teddy or not. Troy is going to have to keep playing well. If Pittman can be affective, I feel like the Bucks will definitely win. If the game is totally put in Troy's hands...I don't know. Troy is great, and he did it all by himself last season, but you cannot do that in Michigan Stadium. Michigan's defense still has some holes, though. The Bucks D will be in A+ form, I imagine. If everying goes as planned...Ohio State wins.

Ohio State - 27
Hail! To Those Mother Fuckers
Hail! To Those Big Cock Suckers
Hail! Hail! To Michigan The Cesspool Of The West
Hail! To Those Fornicators
Hail! To Those Masturbators
Hail! Hail! To Michigan The Cesspool Of The World - 21

Brett says:

Doesn't matter what place the teams are in, always the biggest game of the year in the Big Ten. It really doesn't get any better than this. Last time the Bucks visited Ann Arbor, the assholes ruined their national title hopes as Navarre let the fans forget all the shitty games he had given them over the years. But don't forget last year,when the 6-4 Bucks gave the assholes a little taste of Troy. With the way this rivalry has gone lately I think Michigan will be sitting around most of the game just waiting for something bad to happen. You have to remember that no one on this Michgan team has a winning record against the Bucks, just as no one on Ohio State has a losing record against the assholes. The biggest thing in this game I think though is that the Michigan offense is going to get a warm introduction to the Buckeye defense. Ever since the Minnesota game the D has been on a mission to destory anything in its path, and I think it carries over to this week. Michigan might be able to feed off the crowd a little, but that will only take them so far.

Go Bucks - 27
LLLLoyd's Team - 20

Coreys says:

Ohio State

Purdue at Indiana

Kyle says:

The Old Oaken Bucket. My favorite trophy in college football. This is my favorite shitass game in college football, too. It really is a huge rivalry, more so in basketball than football, but it is on ESPN every year, nonetheless. Both of these teams are atrocious this season. That always makes it more enjoyable to watch. IU has progressively gotten worse as the season had gone on. They are down right awful. After all, this is the team that scored in the last minute to beat Nicholls State. I'm sure the sell out crowd at Memorial Stadium will be hootin' and hollerin' all afternoon. Not. The Boilers win this one. Is that three straight wins for Purdue?! Daaaamn.

Joe Tiller Is A Fatass - 37
Beat Duke on Dec. 5 - 24

Brett says:

I wanted to go to this game instead of the OSU-Michigan game but didn't think I'd be able to afford getting a ticket. I'm sure scalpers will be having a field day with this one, minimum $1,000 a ticket. I mean this is for the Old Oaken Bucket! They should just fill that bucket up with shit, because that's what both of these teams are. After seeing Indiana play in person, I just can't think they can win this game, I think IUPUI would give them a run for the money. Purdue wins this one, as they have "momentum" I talked about, setting up for another Joe Tiller letdown again. Good times in the Big Ten.

No Bowl Indiana Team No.1 - 30
No Bowl Indiana Team No.2 - 17

Corey says:

Purdue

Minnesota at Iowa

Kyle says:

Floyd of Rosedale will be on the line in Iowa City. For the second straight week, it is a rivalry game for the Hawkeyes. They stunned the Badgers last week in Barry Alvarez's last home game. When I look at this game, I really do'nt know who to pick. You have Iowa who is VERY overrated and you have Minnesota who is, well, Minnesota. Then you take a look at the coaches...Kirk Ferentz and Glen Mason. I think I would go with Ferentz any day of the week. I would probably go with an autistic child over Glen Mason, actually. The way I see, Minnesota is at their win limit for the season---Seven.

Tornado! - 30
7-4 (What's New?) - 21

Brett says:

Iowa is coming off a huge win last week as they ruined Barry's last hurrah. I would have never figured this to happen but Farentz is a pretty good coach and he is one of the very few coaches I would expect to win a game like that. It's just that he has the biggest group of underachievers and one big overachiever: Drew Tate. Tate's biggest problem this year has been well that he is Drew Tate. There's a reason no one though he was going to be any good last year, because he isn't that good. As for Minnesota, they got the win over Michigan State last week, just as about every team in the Big Ten has. They've reached their 7 wins for the season, 8 wins just seems to be pushing it. Iowa wins the Floyd of Rosedale.

Just what we need, another pig - 34
Glen's favorite numbers: 7 and 4 - 28

Corey says:

Iowa

Northwestern at Illinois

Kyle says:

Senior day in Champaign. I am sure that there will be a whole 5,000 people on hand to send this talented Illini group off. Poor Ron Zook inherited one of the worst teams in Big Ten history. I mean seriously, this team is so fucking pathetic. It really is commecal to watch them. Kind of reminds me of watching the Kansas City Royals this past baseball season. Anyway, Northwestern should lay a whoopin' on them. However, the Mildcats suck, too. I think this will actually be somewhat close. And, of course, high scoring since Northwestern is involved.

Detroit Rock City - 38
Basketball Season Is Upon Us - 28

Brett says:

Well it was nice that the Mildcats finally got a taste of real Big Ten football last week. Now they get the complete opposite this week in Champaign. Illinois' last touchdown? October 29th. Always good when you haven't had a touchdown since Halloween. Well since they're facing the Northwestern defense this week they should at least put some points on the board. But it's Illinois, it wouldn't surprise me to see -3. And what kind of ovation do you think the seniors will get? How could you cheer for these guys they're one of the most pathetic bunch of players in Big Ten history. Hooray! Anyways, Northwestern wins obviously.

A.J. is our daddy - 43
It's finally over - 20

Corey says:

Northwestern - 50
Illinois - 10

Standings

Kyle 43-19
Brett 43-19
Corey 43-19

Message from Kyle

As you can see, Corey has hit an all-time low. In his weekly e-mail to me it simply read: I pick all home teams.

Unreal. Fuck you, Spic.

Iowa at (19)Wisconsin

Kyle says:

It will be a sad day at Camp Randall on Saturday as Barry Alvarez says goodbye. The atmosphere will be electric and, I am sure it will be a very memorable Fifth Quarter as "On Wisconsin" is played one last time for Barry. I think this will be the BITCH SLAP OF THE WEEK! Yes, it is a rivalry and Iowa is good, but emotions will be at an all-time high in Madison. Calhoun and Wisconsin big.

Mad Town - 41
Iowa - 24

Brett says:

Well the Badgers coudn't get the job done for the Spaniard last week as they got their collective asses kicked in Happy Valley. Meanwhile the Hawkeyes collectively put their heads up their asses in a heartbreaking comeback for the Wildcats. Even with both teams down from last week this should still be a good game. I just don't see the conquistadors losing this one though. The Spaniard's last game, he's wanting to have one last post-game margarita in this one. As for the Hawkeyes, they go to 5-5 with the Gallant Gophers looming next week. Projected to be a potential national championship contender and not make a bowl, what a story that would be. I wouldn't expect anything less from Herkey's pussy ass.

Long Live the Spaniard - 27
The Corn's Gone Bad - 17

Corey says:

Wisconsin

Illinois at Purdue

Kyle says:

This is the battle for the Big Ten Cellar. Congratulations to both team...You fucking suck! Somehow, though, this game is probably being televised. I love how Kirsch got benched. That must really suck to play for 10 years and then get benched. Ouch. I honestly don't give a rats ass about this game, but Purdue will actually win big, probably.

Olde Purdue - 31
Dee For Three! - 13

Brett says:

Looked like this one was going to be for the cum dumpster award, but with Purdue's win last week it looks like the IU-Illinois game was for it. It doesn't really matter though, Illinois definitely has the award this year. Seeing them in action last week brought back memories of watching any RV-Northmor sporting event. Good times. Honestly how bad can you be when you're a 22 1/2 underdog to a team that's 3-6. It baffles me how this team even beat Rutgers and San Jose State. The sad thing is, the Boilers will probably win this one around that point spread. If they win next week against the Hoosiers, they will be projected as having "momentum" for a Big Ten Championship run next season. Please. When you beat MSU, Illinois, and IU you don't have momentum, you just beat some shitty Big Ten teams. Well I hope they do win both because it will be fun to see them crash and burn again next year.

Joe Tiller Still Sucks at Coaching - 33
BBall Season Really Needs to Start. Soon. - 13

Corey says:

Purdue - 50
Illinois - 10

(25)Northwestern at (10)Ohio State

Kyle says:

The old Horseshoe will rockin' at high noon. It is Senior day at Ohio Stadium and the Buckeyes are hungry for some pussy. Let me tell you, they are going to get it. And a lot of it. Northwestern is about as overrated as they come. This team is trash, just like fellow perenial joker IU. Basanez and Sutton will do Jack Shit. When A.J. Hawk runs out on the field. Wow! He will get a rousing ovation. I am already getting chills thinking about next week. Beat Michigan!

Ohio State - 34
Skank Ass Pussy - 14

Don't let the ranking in front of Northwestern fool you, they don't deserve it. Is there a luckier team in the nation than the Wildcats? Honestly, the keep the Bucks off their schedule any time they're halfway "decent" and they somehow get the most unbelievable bounce in onside kick history last week against the Hawkeyes. Well they're in for a little treat this week. Senior Day and a revenge game for the Bucks. The mildcats think they saw a defense in the Michigan game? They'll get a nice little intro to a real D this week in the Shoe. I do think the Bucks might have made a mistake in not at least pursuing Tyrell Sutton but the fact of the matter is he will effectively be shut up this week. A running back has not had a good game against the Bucks this year, I don't expect anything to change. (notice how I say GAME, Maroney had a good HALF against the Bucks but you can bet your ass he didn't have a good GAME) As for Basanez, expect his ass to be on the ground most of the day. And don't even get me started on the purple pussy defense, Troy is going to have a field day. Bucks big.

It's Michigan Week - 40
Going to be 7-4 Using Smoke and Mirrors - 20

Corey says:

Ohio State

Michigan State at Minnesota

Kyle says:

Year in and year out these two teams never live up to their expectations. Naturally, that makes this a tough game to pick. I'll have to go with the Gophers, though. I imagine Maroney will rack up the rushing yards. Afterall, Northwestern fucking killed Michigan State in East Lansing. Hopefully John L. Smith tears down some yard line markers or something. Just beat Penn State for me next week, Spartans.

Most Big Ten Wins Ever For Us - 37
We Fell Off The Face Of The Earth - 21

Brett says:

Well if isn't a matchup of the two most difficult teams to predict in the Big Ten. I remember last year Minnesota was favored pretty well to come out of East Lansing with the win, only to embarass themselves, as always. Michigan State managed to be the first team to lose to the shit bag Boilers, I saw that one coming from a mile away, while the Gophers pretty much had a bye week in Bloomington. Seeing as how these teams are impossible to predict I expect some crazy ass things to happen during this game. I probably wouldn't blink an eye if I heard during the OSU game that the roof at the Metrodome had caved in. That's just the kind of unpredictable shit these teams bring to the table. I think I'm going to go with Minnesota in this one though as the Spartans are sent to 5-5 fighting for bowl eligibility next week against the Nittany Lions. Hopefully John L. Smith will have enough rage left in his body to rally the troops.

7 wins? Whoa that's Our Limit - 45
Beat PSU - 40

Corey says:

Minnesota

Indiana at (21)Michigan

Kyle says:

Indiana is trash, as we all know. I think Michigan will definitely be looking ahead to the Buckeyes, though. Expect a very close half in the Big House and then for Michigan to pull away. Heart break city for the Hoosiers. No bowl. Michigan will then head into a showdown with the Buckeyes next weekend in Ann Arbor, while the Hoosiers play in it's traditional battle for the Old Oaken Bucket against Purdue.

Fuck Michigan - 24
IU! IU! IU! - 14

Brett says:

Well the week I've been waiting for, the week Indiana becomes bowl-INeligible. Usually we're not even ready for Halloween yet when this happens, but with juggernauts like Nicholls State on IU's schedule, it's come a little late this year. The assholes come off their bye, which has not boasted well for Big Ten teams so far this year, but that shouldn't be a problem with IU coming to town. Chad Henne will manage to get his confidence up in this game as he could probably throw for 500 yards if he wanted. This confidence boost will only lead to a major drop, as he is left with no appendages next week thanks to the OSU linebacking corps. Not exactly a good warm-up for a team like the Bucks.

Real Team Comes to Town Next Week - 45
Coach Hep Eats Shit for Breakfast - 17

Corey says:

Michigan

Standings

Oh boy! We are all tied up with three weeks to play. This is playing out just like the actual Big Ten season.

Kyle 39-18
Brett 39-18
Corey 39-18

Corey, being the piece of shit that he is, just sent me schools and no scores. Be sure to chew his ass out.

Michigan's entire team and coaching staff will be playing with themselves this weekend.

(14)Wisconsin at (10)Penn State

Kyle says:

This is going to be an awesome game. Big Ten smash mouth football. Happy Valley will be alive and well. I know Penn State beat OSU and they are number 10, but I am still not sold on them. The winner of this game controls their own destiny in the Big Ten title race. I am really getting a bad feeling that Wisconsin is going to win the conference. No way in hell they lose to Iowa at Camp Randall in Barry's last game. It just won't happen. I think Calhoun will have some success running against Penn State's great defense. If not, they can pass it to him or Orr. Regardless, I just think they are going to win. Penn State is better in every match up, but Wisconsin just wins football games.

Badgers - 23
Nittany Lions - 14

Brett says:

The game to decide the frontrunner to represent the Big Ten in a BCS game is liiiive from Happy Valley. Wisconsin has surprised everyone to be in this position, as they fuckin' do every year, but yet they're always picked to be about 6th or 7th in the conference. Even I thought they would falter this year but Alvarez has kept his conquistadors focused. As for the Lions, Joe Pa must be giddy as a school girl, there's talk that he actually had his first erection since 1937 this last week. Ain't that something? The Wisconsin offense has been pretty stellar all year but the Penn State defense has been punishing teams left and right. With the advantage of all the crazy asses in State College, PSU takes the driver's seat in the Big Ten with the Spartans being the only ones in the way that can stop them now.

Who needs Viagra when you have the Nittany Lions this year? - 23
Senor Alvarez's Last Shot - 14

Corey says:

Penn State.

Illinois at (12)Ohio State

Kyle says:

The Battle for the Illibuck turns into the BITCHSLAP OF THE WEEK! Fuck yeah, baby. Buckeye style. This should be a fun one to watch. Illinois is the the worst team the Big Ten has seen in over 20 years. I would like to appologize to my friends at Indiana University for saying Illinois was better than them at the beginning of the season. I would hate the be anyone on Illinois' offense that touches the ball. I imagine Aaron James, Robert, and Anthony will be hungry since it is a 3:30 game. A little late lunch will be in store. Look for Teddy to have another return on special teams. Troy will rack up the stats, too. That brings me to a question for the OSU faithful: Is Zwick still the better QB?

2 weeks 'till Ann Arbor - 47
2 weeks 'till basketball - 13

Brett says:

Even as an Ohio State fan, like last week, this one should not be televised. Most NAIA teams would give the Illini a run for the money, and they have to come into the Shoe? Ouch. It doesn't help much that the OSU offense is starting to come around and is looking to extensively lay the pipe this weekend. Illinois has absolutely nothing going for them, I think if Red Grange was still alive he'd start over 75% of the team. Maybe if the Bucks get up by enough they can send Matt Sylvester out there to throw a touchdown just to stab the Illini in the heart a little more.

Illibuck is staying in the Kuhn House - 43
BBalll season's coming up - 10

Corey says:

Ohio State - 50
Illinois - 10

Michigan State at Purdue

Kyle says:

A lot of people are saying the Boilers are going to get their first conference win of the season this week. Ha. You have got to be kidding me. That "defense" is going to stop Drew Stanton? I think not. Sparty is going to roll into West Lafayette and slap his cock up against Purdue Pete. (I hate that fucker.) Joe Tiller will be eating a lot of donuts in the off season because the fatass is going to be unemployed. He should be, anyhow. I still can't fathom that Purdue was predicted to win the conference and picked as high as 3rd in the nation. How in the hell are they so bad? They have 11 starters back on defense and 7 on offense. It is because Joe Tiller is a fat piece of shit. Same thing is happening with Fat Phil in Knoxville. Charlie Weis is the only good fatass in the bunch.

Brett says:

MSU got off their slide last week, not really saying much though as they took out IU. At least it gave John L. Smith a little sanity though, an IU loss was likely leading to a high speed chase across Michigan with Stanton the hostage. As for the Boilers, they're actually starting to show some signs of life. I mean they were within 8 of Penn State last week! Yippee! I don't know though, I think this slide has to end somewhere, and I think it's this week. At least there's some good news for the Boilers, if they don't win this week then they certainly are next week, the Illini are coming to town.

Gameday will be at the Old Oaken Bucket Game - 27
I'M ON CRYSTAL METH MOTHER FUCKERS- John L. Smith - 20

Corey:

Michigan State.

Iowa at Northwestern

Kyle says:

Looks like Northwestern is in a whole lot of trouble. They got beat by Michigan last week, and they play Iowa and Ohio State the next two weeks. Can you say 6-5? I am starting to be a firm believer in Iowa being better than decent. Even though Northwestern "only" gave up 34 points last week, you need to look at the opponent: Michigan. They suck. Iowa has been playing well. They lost to Michigan, however, they should have won the game. Drew Tate will eat Northwestern's measly secondary alive. Solomon will have about 5 TDS.

El Paso bound - 42
Detroit what? - 34

Brett says:

Tough game to pick here. Whoever wins this game sets themselves up to make a decent bowl, which is pretty sad because neither of these teams is that good. Iowa is coming off a bye week, giving Herkey a chance to lick his wounds of being the pussy that he is. The Wildcats are coming off a very disappointing loss to the assholes, one where they showed why they're primary color is purple. I would think Drew Tate's crazy ass would have no problem doing whatever they wanted against the mildcat defense, but the mildcat defense actually showed signs of life last week against Michigan. That's not saying much considering they still gave up 34 points. I don't know who to go with really, I think I gotta flip a coin on this one. Heads Northwestern, tails Iowa. (Flips) Iowa takes this one on the road, as their defense starts to wake up a little.

We rigged the Rose Bowl - 33
How did we ever make the Rose Bowl? - 26

Corey says:

Northwestern.

Minnesota at Indiana

Kyle says:

One word: Booooring. Who cares about this game? I am sure about 20 people will be at it and Minnesota will win easily. I imagine Maroney will have about a million yards against IUs shit ass defense. I know, I know...IU has beaten them the last few years. Well, it ain't happening this year. After watching OSU beat the Hoosiers, I realized that they are not even decent this year.

Overrated, once again - 41
Horrible, once again - 21

Brett says:

Well both of these teams are really putting this season in the shitter right now. Minnesota has had problems at Indiana in the recent past, with losses in 2000 and 2004. But you know what, those IU teams were even better then the one this year. It still amazes me how people actually thought they were heading to a bowl this year. The sad thing is if they do somehow manage to win this one they probably will make a bowl because they still get to play the shitasses in West Lafayette. Maybe IU can have their soccer coach come and give another riveting speech like he did against Ohio State. "Coach Hep and the boys, will play them like toys." That was an actual line, why the hell is this guy still coaching soccer he should be in the studio cutting some hits. Anyways, I think Minnesota's offense is too much in this one and they become eligible for the Music City Bowl.

Nashville Bound - 37
Bloomington Bound - 27

Corey says:

Minnesota.